Mindy: I feel like I need to REMIND you that Hell Week doesn’t begin until Thursday.

Satan: What’s your problem?

Mindy: Run-Rows? Another Monday with a Run-Row? Eight thousand kinds of lunges? With Coach Paige?!? OH MY GOD.

Satan: That’s not me, that’s divine intervention. Who ate a brownie yesterday?

Mindy: I logged it in MyFitnessPal, that was a sanctioned brownie!!!

Satan: Okaaaaaaayyyyy…

Mindy: Don’t judge me, I can eat whatever I want as long as I stay under 1500 calories a day.

Satan: Someone’s touchy. Maybe from a lack of protein?

Mindy: I need a win, and I feel like going into Hell Week it might be a while before I get one.

Satan: You never know…you might “win” at Hell Week. Hehehe…

Mindy: Very funny. You know what would help?

Satan: More protein?

Mindy: Ignoring you. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I have decided that I just want you to make me Blake Lively.

Satan: What? The actress?

Mindy: Yep. She’s tall, gorgeous, rich and married to Deadpool.

Satan: You mean Ryan Reynolds.

Mindy: <waving hand> Eh, same thing.

Satan: I can’t just suck out her soul and insert yours.

Mindy: I mean, have you tried? And how do we know she even has a soul? She IS an actress.

Satan: Hmmm. I haven’t checked…

Mindy: You have a foothold in there anyway, right? The Deadpool movie took forever to get made, you had to have helped there somehow…

Satan: Yeah, Ryan’s mine already…

Mindy: Obviously. And I feel like I could choose better movies than Blake does. That Simple Favor one was good, but Age of Adaline? Ugh. Even Harrison Ford couldn’t save that movie…

Satan: Oh, Harrison…he’s my white whale.

Mindy: You okay, buddy?

Satan: Yeah, just a case of the Mondays. But torturing you cheered me up a little.

Mindy: Ah-HAH! I knew that wasn’t a normal Monday!!

Satan: Think of it as a Hell Week Appetizer.

Mindy: I don’t believe in appetizers, because then I am too full for the main course. Following that logic, I should be saving room for Hell Week. NO APPETIZERS!

Satan: Please, you’re fine…you’re going Wednesday and then Hell Week starts on Thursday…OR DOES IT??? Maybe part of Hell Week is that it’s actually for TWO WEEKS, BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAH….

Mindy: I feel like I don’t say this enough…you suck.

Satan: You get me.