Mindy: I feel like I need to REMIND you that Hell Week doesn’t begin until Thursday.
Satan: What’s your problem?
Mindy: Run-Rows? Another Monday with a Run-Row? Eight thousand kinds of lunges? With Coach Paige?!? OH MY GOD.
Satan: That’s not me, that’s divine intervention. Who ate a brownie yesterday?
Mindy: I logged it in MyFitnessPal, that was a sanctioned brownie!!!
Mindy: Don’t judge me, I can eat whatever I want as long as I stay under 1500 calories a day.
Satan: Someone’s touchy. Maybe from a lack of protein?
Mindy: I need a win, and I feel like going into Hell Week it might be a while before I get one.
Satan: You never know…you might “win” at Hell Week. Hehehe…
Mindy: Very funny. You know what would help?
Satan: More protein?
Mindy: Ignoring you. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I have decided that I just want you to make me Blake Lively.
Satan: What? The actress?
Mindy: Yep. She’s tall, gorgeous, rich and married to Deadpool.
Satan: You mean Ryan Reynolds.
Mindy: <waving hand> Eh, same thing.
Satan: I can’t just suck out her soul and insert yours.
Mindy: I mean, have you tried? And how do we know she even has a soul? She IS an actress.
Satan: Hmmm. I haven’t checked…
Mindy: You have a foothold in there anyway, right? The Deadpool movie took forever to get made, you had to have helped there somehow…
Satan: Yeah, Ryan’s mine already…
Mindy: Obviously. And I feel like I could choose better movies than Blake does. That Simple Favor one was good, but Age of Adaline? Ugh. Even Harrison Ford couldn’t save that movie…
Satan: Oh, Harrison…he’s my white whale.
Mindy: You okay, buddy?
Satan: Yeah, just a case of the Mondays. But torturing you cheered me up a little.
Mindy: Ah-HAH! I knew that wasn’t a normal Monday!!
Satan: Think of it as a Hell Week Appetizer.
Mindy: I don’t believe in appetizers, because then I am too full for the main course. Following that logic, I should be saving room for Hell Week. NO APPETIZERS!
Satan: Please, you’re fine…you’re going Wednesday and then Hell Week starts on Thursday…OR DOES IT??? Maybe part of Hell Week is that it’s actually for TWO WEEKS, BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAH….
Mindy: I feel like I don’t say this enough…you suck.
Satan: You get me.