Only in my head, Coach Josh and I are in some kind of weird game of food chess.

Josh: Here’s a pic of my awesome new turbo mixer that allows me to whip up sweets in like 5 seconds. Imma gonna be baking stuff every day for the rest of the year.

<Mindy, eating perfectly, gains two pounds simply from contemplating that much sugar and butter. (Oh my god, butter)>

Josh: Here’s a pic of my awesome Italian Creme Cake, you can have some if you come work out today.

<Mindy, knowing she can’t eat back her workout calories, shuffles around Green Lake>

<Mindy methodically chops ALL of the broccoli (All. Of. It.) to offset the universal food imbalance activated by Kitchen Aid usage around the world.>

Mindy: Lookit my awesome healthy meal prep! Your move, JOSHUA!!!

<Josh, completely bewildered, not realizing he had accidentally engaged a crazy person, backs away slowly, making soothing sounds.>

Mindy: Yes, I’m crazy, we already knew this…STILL YOUR MOVE.

P.S. I just realized, Josh is playing on a whole other level… he’s playing THREE DIMENSIONAL CHESS bc he is ensuring the relevance of OTF through the holidays. “Come eat delicious food you didn’t have time to bake yourself and eat it GUILT FREE.” Attendance will be the best it’s been all year, because CAKE. Well played, sir, well played.