Corporate Suit Dude: Good morning, Miss Crary
CSD: Yes, of course. May I call you Mindy?
Mindy: I’ll let you know.
CSD: I hope…uh, yes fine.
Mindy: So, why am I here? Yesterday and today’s workouts kicked my butt. I’m worn out.
CSD: Oh, right! This is where you complain a bit about the workout. Let me sit down…alright, please proceed.
Mindy: I’m not going to complain to you. I mean, who ARE you? You look like maybe you’re from OTF Corporate Office.
CSD: I am in no way meaning to represent nor implying affiliation with Orangetheory Fitness is any way, shape or manner.
CSD: We’re simply an interested party.
Mindy: That’s not terrifying at all…
CSD: We wanted to let you know, great job on your coordination with Satan these past several weeks.
Mindy: Thanks. But that was for the good of the community…and my own personal agenda.
CSD: Well, despite that, you helped us too. Satan was perceived as much more accessible this year and—
Mindy: Your soul acquisition went way up?
CSD: Well, uh, we don’t need to get into the KPIs…key performance indicators…
Mindy: I know what a KPI is…wow, so I suck at harvesting individual souls, but I helped increase the overall number!!
CSD: I didn’t say that. I never said anything about human souls. Or OTF. Or your Hobbit feet.
Mindy: What do you want?
CSD: After Hell Week, we thought you could lighten up a bit. You may know, Satan usually takes some vacation this time of year, and we thought you could partner with one of the other affiliated entities. It’s not doom and gloom ALL of the time, we like to have fun too!
CSD: Exactly! We thought in the spirit of boat travel and Thanksgiving, maybe partner with a Pilgrim—
CSD: Um, okay, so maybe an indigenous—
Mindy: Cultural appropriation?
CSD: Yeah, I guess November is a bit of a sticky wicket. Would you be willing to partner with a turkey?
Mindy: Do you HAVE a talking turkey?
CSD: We could probably make that happen…
Mindy: And then pardon him?
CSD: Do what now?
Mindy: Pardon the turkey. I’m not going to talk to a turkey and then someone eats him for American Thanksgiving.
CSD: Huh, didn’t think of that…I’m not sure that’s going to be possible.
Mindy: So, you’re saying you have the mojo to get a talking turkey, but not enough mojo to get him pardoned?
CSD: There might be some bureaucratic red tape.
Mindy: There always is.